I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Bring me that man meat
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
