She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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