his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
