Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
