She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize