sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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