We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
