I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
