someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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