At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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