If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
