How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
