I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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