If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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