You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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