I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
