Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
