ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
