Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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