Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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