Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize