I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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