Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
