How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
