If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
babies were throwing up all over the place
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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