omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
