Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
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Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
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My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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