Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
