Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
