In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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