Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
