this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
