just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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