I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
