Your tits are I can't wait for
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
