sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
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There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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