i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
