remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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