There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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