You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize