we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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