I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
