no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
