well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
