I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
