in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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