I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
