Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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