Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize