Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
