You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Man, jail baloney is awful.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
