I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
