No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize