# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
