come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
