3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
COCAINE IS GR8
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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