Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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