I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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