if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
